My thoughts of audio description on Naked Attraction

Firstly, I’ve never watched Naked Attraction before, and the show isn’t my kind of thing. However, after my friend and a fellow blogger both mentioned it had audio description that is highly amusing, I thought I’d take a look on catch up… OMG it is both hilarious and cringy at the same time!

I think it is brilliant audio description is available on this programme, which just goes to show all content can have AD.

Although I can’t imagine many blind and visually impaired people would choose to watch this show. I could be wrong – Let me know if anyone with sight loss watches Naked Attraction and enjoy or find useful the AD?

What is Naked Attraction?

Naked Attraction is a late-night reality show on Channel 4, in which individuals choose from six people to be their next date just by naked attraction alone.

The individual first views their legs and penises/vaginas, then their torsos/breasts and then their heads.

Each round the individual has to eliminate one of the naked people until there are two left.

Then the person choosing the date will also reveal themselves naked before choosing their date.

How is Naked Attraction audio described?

With most of the show, there is dialogue between the host, the person choosing their date and the naked people.

But when the sections of the naked bodies are shown, the audio describer says some creative, crazy, funny and colourful descriptions.

I watched one episode in which a woman called Sian was looking for a man to date and a man called Tansel who was seeking a sexy lady to date.

The show was audio described by a man who I regularly hear describe TV programmes across the main TV networks including BBC, ITV and Channel 4.

The episode began with Sian checking out the naked men. When the legs and penises were revealed, there were descriptions including “crown jewels”, “meat and two veg on offer” and even at one point, the men were described to “jump and jiggle”.

There were also descriptions of their torsos and how many of them had tattoos and piercings. Plus, it described their hairstyles, clean shaven or beards and facial expressions.

In the second half of the episode, Tansel is admiring six naked ladies. When their bottom halves are revealed, they are described as “legs and lady gardens” and “all but one has shaved their naughty bits”, referring to the vaginas.

With the breasts, descriptions include “five pairs of fun bags” and “perky boobs”. It also describes things such as tattoos, piercings and nail varnish.

As much as I enjoy the odd innuendo and funny comment, with audio description on Naked Attraction, I personally would prefer they just describe the body parts as biological terms (e.g vagina, penis, breast etc.) and give more description on the size, colour and other details.

For example: “He admires five pairs of breasts. The ladies in booth red and orange are black women with average sized breasts and the girl in booth green has rather large breasts. The woman in booth pink has pierced nipples and smaller breasts”.

To all audio describers who feature on Naked Attraction, I take my hat off to you. You record them in a professional manner, and it must take you several takes without laughing. I salute you all.

You can listen to a sample of audio description on Naked Attraction here:

Scott Mills and Chris Stark records audio described special of Naked Attraction

Last month, I also found out that BBC Radio 1’s Scott Mills and Chris Stark were invited by Channel 4 to audio describe an episode of Naked Attraction following their radio segment in which they analyse and discuss the hilariousness of the audio description on the show.

The pair audio described episode four of series eight, in which a 75-year-old naturist was seeking a relationship and a Scottish 30-year-old was looking for her next man.

Chris Stark’s audio description on Naked Attraction

Chris described the first guest, 75-year-old Ian who was open to dating a man or a woman.

When the bottom halves of the six potential dates were shown, the descriptions included “muffs and cocks” “peckers and girl bits” and a “jumble array of wrinkly willies and crinkly fannies”. The fact it was an old man looking at older naked people made it even more cringy to hear.

With the breasts and torsos, Chris described them as “large baps, tattooed torsos and pierced nipples”. One of the ladies Ian could possibly date is simply described as a “saucy woman”.

Also, when each of the possible dates are eliminated, they walk off the studio set, do a spin and have their clothes back on. One of the men that was not chosen re-dressed into a kilt, and as soon as his clothes were on, it was described that he “spins back into a kilt and like a flasher, lifts it up to reveal his dick” – what a pleasant man.

When it came to Ian revealing his naked body to the final two potential dates, his penis was described as a “pierced willy [that] bounces around with some heavy piercings”. While Ian is deciding his date, Chris adds, “pulling on his pecker, Ian remains stiff with his hands behind his naked bottom”.

Scott Mills’ audio description on Naked Attraction

Scott then described the second person searching for their next date. Kerry is a 30-year-old woman finding a man, predominately just to have sex with as she mentioned it a lot.

When the men’s penises were shown, Scott simply said “reveal some willies”, “smorgasbord of dicks” and “six cocks in front of her” – I never knew there were so many ways to describe a penis, it is like listening to a sexual thesaurus.

As Kerry is considering her options, Scott says, “she licks her lips considering the penises”. He continues with “from pocket rockets to girthy shafts, there’s an assortment of members on display”.

When Kerry examines the men’s upper body, Scott describes it as she “ogles their naked torsos, “stares at the goods on display” and the “headless men and their crown jewels”.

When the men’s heads are shown, Scott narrates it in the most bizarre way by saying “reveals there are faces attached to the penises”. Luckily, I have more sense to know the penises and heads are quite far apart. This sentence is the cringiest by far.

At the final stage when Kerry decides her date, Scott describes that the “men wait patiently with their dicks hanging out” and after she chooses her date, the couple are “standing starkers beside one another”.

Chris and Scott as audio describers

Overall, I think both Chris and Scott make great audio describers. At first it was kind of strange knowing they are two lads off the radio trying to perform a professional audio description service. But after a while, I sometime forgot it was the guys off Radio 1 and instead just focussed on the description.

I’m not sure the pair had any input in what was said and how it was described or someone wrote the script for them.

Nevertheless, I think both of them, plus many other radio presenters, should consider providing their voices for audio description on any TV show or film.

Will I want to watch Naked Attraction in the future?

As much as it was fun to listen to the audio description on a couple of episodes, this show isn’t really my cup of tea at all.

It is not appealing to me, appears mostly cringe-worthy and I feel squeamish in places. I prefer to judge someone on their personality rather than their looks anyway.

However, I will admit, as I was searching for clips for this blog, I came across one episode that featured a 23-year-old guy who admitted he was a virgin but keen to find love. I found the full episode online and watched it in full because I was intrigued to know how he managed on the show and on the first date. (It’s series 7 episode 1 if anyone is curious.)

If you’re interested in Naked Attraction, you can watch it on Tuesdays at 10pm on Channel 4 and catch up on All4.

Campaigning for audio description on all content

Although I’m not keen on watching Naked Attractions personally, the fact it includes audio descriptions is fantastic. It just goes to show any television programme or film can include audio description.

For those of you who follow me and read my blog regularly will know I’ve been campaigning for all pre-recorded content to have audio description.

My petition currently has 2955 signatures, but we need thousands more in order to get TV networks, film productions companies and streaming services to understand the importance and benefit of audio description for blind and visually impaired people.

Please visit my change.org petition and sign and share using the hashtag #ADForAll. Also, in the updates page, you can check out my latest blog posts, published articles and media coverage on my audio description campaign.

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This blog follows my life as a disabled person, reports disability news, share music reviews, give advice pieces, shows multimedia content plus much more!

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