Guest Blog: 16 tips to keep in mind about grief and trauma

I would like to welcome my first featured guest blog post of 2020. Say hello to disability blogger Chelsea – who is totally blind, has cerebral palsy and other chronic health issues. She is going to share advice on what to keep in mind when going through grief & trauma:

1. Society views grief & trauma in an unhealthy manner – they are not things that ever go away, no matter who we are, or how much time has passed.

2. Despite what society tells us about time healing our difficult wounds from grief & trauma, that sort of trope is touted most likely when people feel that they have to say “something” instead of simply being silent and present with the person who is grieving or otherwise hurting.

3. Grief & trauma can look different for each death or trauma we experience, and so too, can look different from one day to the next.

4. Grief & trauma changes us, in ways both expected and unexpected, big and small.

5. Grief & trauma should not, and does not, have to be treated as a problem to be solved.

6. It is OK and even highly recommended I would say, to let ourselves feel all of the complex feelings that grief and trauma puts us through, regardless of how much time has past.

7. Sometimes people can say the wrong things to us, in response to our grief & trauma, and when this happens, we should allow ourselves to feel whatever it is that comes up for us, even if it is difficult for us to get through.

8. It is OK for us to feel like part of us dies, along with those we love, or in response to trauma that we’ve been through.

9. Everything does not, in fact, happen for a reason, whether it’s trauma or grief we are talking about.

10. It is OK to not know how people could help you through your grief or trauma.

11. It is OK to know exactly what would help you through your grief or trauma and to then ask for those things or people’s support, without shame.

12. It is OK to tell everyone and no one, about the grief or trauma that you have experienced.

13. It is OK to think of ways to take care of yourself through your own grief or trauma, no matter how silly-sounding your self-care methods may be to other folks.

14. It is OK to find a grief & trauma counsellor, or no counsellor at all.

15. It is OK to not know how you will survive the grief or trauma that you go through.

16. There is not only one correct way to get through grief & trauma, even though people may tell us that the complete opposite is true.

Thank you Chelsea for your insight into grief & trauma. To find out more about Chelsea and her work, visit her blog Chelsea Munoz and follow her on Facebook & Twitter.

Also please check out my guest blog post on Chelsea‘s blog, 10 perks of being a disabled person.

If you would like me to be a guest blogger and/or you would like to feature as a guest blogger on my blog, please contact me.

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3 thoughts on “Guest Blog: 16 tips to keep in mind about grief and trauma

  1. Thank you for this blog post. One observation jumps out at me. I’m probably one of the people who “feel that they have to say “something” instead of simply being silent and present with the person who is grieving or otherwise hurting.” I’ll work on remaining more silent and present in 2020…

  2. Thanks for your comment–I appreciate that you recognized yourself in this and want to try to do better. That is my hope for folks who read what I have to say: that they know I’m coming from a place of love and can see that I deeply care about humanity.