I never thought I’d be starting 2022 with this blog post, the same as I started 2021, paying tribute to another dear friend of mine – Lottie Rapson. On 15th December 2021 she sadly passed away at the age of 27 in hospital surrounded by her family.
We spent more than 13 incredible years together having lots of fun, partying, enjoying milestone moments and of course causing plenty of mischief.
To honour and celebrate the life of Lottie Rapson and the amazing friendship we had through school, college and beyond, here is a letter to Lottie, in which I share all our amazing memories and thank her for the love and laughter she has given me throughout our extraordinary friendship.
Dear Lottie,
I’m writing this on what would have been your 28th birthday on 5th January. So, as well as a tribute letter, also think of this as a lengthy birthday card.
We met on my first day at Treloar School on Monday 23rd June 2008. I just remember being in the classroom and the teacher going around the room introducing each student to me. I think you were on the far side of the room and you gave me a brief hello.
How we got to know each other was a bit of a blur. We weren’t in the same boarding house in my first year so most of the time we would chat n the classroom during the day or in the evenings, when we were supposed to be studying – sssh!
I have so many incredible, hilarious and life-changing memories with you that I’m not sure where to begin. So, in no particular order, here some of my favourite moments in our crazy friendship.
Interesting geography knowledge
One of my earliest memories with you was one evening at school. You were on the computer ordering something – I think – when you asked me where your nearest city was. As you live in Devizes, Wiltshire, I suggested Bristol.
You then asked what your state was, and I had to explain we don’t have states in England but counties. You then asked is London a state. This amused me and I said no, London is the capital city of England.
The fact you were 15 and thought London was a state was very funny.
The following morning, I shared this story at breakfast with other students and carers, which led to us asking you random geography questions.
My all-time favourite, which I’ve never let you forget, was when I asked what the capital of Scotland is, you said “Wales”!
The famous strip night
I know I’ve told this story a trillion times to almost everyone we both know but it is the ultimate memory I have from school, which I call “the famous strip night”.
Because we were GCSE students, we were allowed to use our classroom in the evenings to “revise”.
One evening, we were bored and thought we would play a game of truth and dare.
One student called Ben dared you and Phillip to take each others clothes off.
We thought we would time it to see how fast you could do it and I played Tom Jones’ Sex Bomb in the background, which we made as our song for the foreseeable future.
You both managed to go as far as Phillip having his penis out and you having your boobs out.
So that was that. It went no further than that. We went to bed thinking no harm was done – we were so wrong.
The next morning I spoke to you in physio and you said a caretaker saw us through the classroom door and has reported it to our head of house.
Later on that day, we were called into the assistant head’s office where we had to explain what happened. Throughout the interrogation we couldn’t stop laughing.
The assistant head said we were the worst Year 11’s in Treloar history and a bad example to the other students.
Apparently, we were close to being excluded but due to care circumstances we were just grounded for a week; meaning we weren’t allowed out the boarding house except for classes and mealtimes.
It almost felt like disabled teenagers couldn’t behave like other teenagers and it was unheard of at a school like this – well, we changed that!
The whole school found out about the incident and everyone thought it was brilliant and hilarious. I think this story will be in the Treloar history books.
Let’s also not forget there were many other similar incidents such as you making out with nearly every boy in school in the classroom cupboard, me and you drawing on each other’s tits and even one occasion I walked into your bedroom while you were naked – oops!
Wheelchair rides and crashes
I know I must’ve said this to you hundreds of times during school and college, but you’re a dangerous wheelchair driver. I can’t count the number of times you hit walls, doors, furniture, other wheelchairs and much more.
The funniest incident was in our first year of college on Gloucester House when you managed to knock a sink off your bedroom wall.
Since then, if I ever have days where I hit my wheelchair into something or crash, I just say, “I’m doing a Lottie”.
I even noticed the first few days after you gained your angel wings last month, I tend to hit doorways more often. It was like your spirit was with me driving my wheelchair for me.
I also have to mention another memorable moment when we were at school and you were using your manual wheelchair.
As part of your physio program, you had to use your manual wheelchair during the day to keep up your arm strength.
One evening, you had to go up to medical centre to get your insulin before dinner, but you couldn’t be bothered wheeling yourself up there.
So, I offered to take you up there by holding onto the back of my electric wheelchair – which was strictly forbidden on campus.
As we went up the steep ramp to medical centre, my chair tilted back, you wheeled down the ramp and landed in Phillip’s lap who happened to be behind us.
We were pissing ourselves laughing then I went to find a nurse to rescue you and push you inside. Obviously, I didn’t mention I’d been pulling you with my chair.
Helping each other in physio
At Treloar’s, we had great physio facilities and had regular physio sessions. I don’t know how it came about, but one time we tried giving each other physio and you tried hoisting me.
I just remember you stretching my right wrist and trying to put my hand splint on then I was stretching your feet and attempting to put you Teletubbies foot splints on. I still can’t believe at aged 15 you had Teletubbies splints.
Then, I’m not sure if it was the same or a different day but I was sat on the physio plinth and you were trying to put the sling on me by yourself.
This basically resulted in us in fits of giggles and me not trying to fall over while two physiotherapists watched on.
It was a fun and interesting experiment but definitely not a success.
College course choices
This is a random memory but at our Year 11 prom, we were chatting about the courses we’d be studying at college and you announced that you’d chosen Travel & Tourism.
This amused me after you proved a year ago your geography knowledge was awful and so that was the last subject I’d expect you to choose.
When I asked why you’d chosen it, you simply said “the teacher is hot” – what a typical Lottie reason!
I also loved the day we got our GCSE’s results, and you were ecstatic about getting D’s, E’s and F’s. And then a few years later you did a Psychology GCSE and got an A but only because your PAs did the work for you.
I can definitely say you were not the academic or career driven type!
Introducing me to live music
Before I met you, I never thought I could do things like attend events or travel because of my disability.
Then one night you changed my life forever and this single thing is basically what I live for now – live music.
In October 2009, you invited me to see Calvin Harris live in Bournemouth. As a child, I assumed disabled people could not attend gigs or festivals. But that night in Bournemouth changed everything.
It brought me feelings I’d never felt before and I was transported into another world where I belonged. Live music was my home.
Going to live music is a magical experience; the loud music, the bass vibrations, the artistic lighting and the atmosphere of being surrounded by like-minded people singing and dancing to our favourite tunes.
I know our music tastes differed over the years, but we still managed to attend a few more gigs together including Dizzee Rascal & Lily Allen at The O2 Arena, Professor Green in Brixton and V Festival in 2016.
Also I’m sure you’d be proud to know I saw Fat Boy Slim in 2017, The Prodigy in 2018 and I hope one day to see Pendulum too, and take your family with me.
But if it wasn’t for your initial invite and encouraging me to see live music, I wouldn’t have been to so many shows over the past decade – so for that, I’m truly grateful and thank you!!!!
Parties and BBQs
We also got to enjoy many parties and BBQs over the years. As we were both January babies, we’d have joint parties at Treloar’s.
My most memorable were our 16th where we has a pyjama party in the boarding house and played a game of truth and dare.
And our 18th’s we went to the Weybridge pub in Alton and probably tried every alcoholic drink possible and you were sick all over yourself, making one carer wrench and another carer chase her with vomit cover gloves – lovely!
We also had your housewarming party when you moved into your own house and the annual summer BBQs that were always great fun.
Becoming bridesmaids
In 2015, we both had the honour of being bridesmaids at the wedding of our friends Steph and Paul. It was a summer ceremony that took place at Steph’s local church.
Not only was the day itself perfect but the events leading up were also fun – even with a bit of drama thrown in.
In January 2015 we went down to Portsmouth to try on bridesmaid dresses. It was great fun until you decided to have a seizure in the dress shop resulting in paramedics coming.
Amazingly and surprisingly, you came round and managed to persuade the paramedics not to take you to hospital. You even managed lunch after the dress shopping.
For the hen night – well hen day to be exact – we didn’t do the tradition of the bridesmaids organising it and instead Steph’s Mum invited us all to a West End show and a meal out in London.
The amusing thing was while the rest of us got the train to London, you decided to come by car and park in central London – bad idea that was!
You took so long you missed the first half of the show. Thankfully you were able to join in wearing hen sachet and give out our other novelty gifts to Steph at the restaurant.
The wedding day was beautiful, and it was so lovely that we were bridesmaids together and got to sit near the alter for Steph and Paul’s special day.
Plus, we got to sit together for the reception dinner along with your parents.
Lola and puppies
Another memorable event was you getting your dog Lola then a couple of years later Lola having puppies.
I loved just after the puppies were born, coming to visit you and cuddling the pups. My favourite was Minstrel as he was the smallest and could fit in my jumper.
I also found it funny every time you visited my house with Lola, she would go mental and bark constantly at my rabbit who was just chilling in his cage.
Sleepovers with a difference
On about three occasions, I slept over at your house. The first time we discovered the camp bed wouldn’t fit in your bedroom. I could’ve slept in a recliner chair in your lounge, but you were adamant I slept in your room. In the end, I put my PJs on and slept in my wheelchair reclined.
I only got about two hours sleep but I only did it because I love you.
The next two times, we managed to just put the mattress on the bedroom floor and I slept there, which was rather comfy.
I remember one of the times I slept over, it was a surprise visit for you. Your carer text me saying you were feeling down and if I could come over and cheer you up. I managed to get Dad to drive me then your carer put us both to bed, which was nice of her.
Watching you deteriorate
Since I met you, you told me about your Ataxia diagnosis and how your health would get worse over time.
Despite all the challenges you faced you always coped so positively and seemed fine about being dependent on carers for all aspects of your life.
I admit I found it difficult seeing you deteriorate so much over the last year. Your mobility was poor, your sight and hearing became more difficult, your speech got worse and you were becoming increasingly more tired.
There were so many things I wanted to say to you or do things with you but it became harder to have conversations or enjoy activities like we used to.
Love you always, Lottie Rapson
Lottie Rapson, you are one in a million and I’m so thankful you were apart of my life and played a vital part in what it is today. I will miss you more than you’ll ever know and our fun times will never be the same again.
Fly high my beautiful friend and say hello to all our other Treloar angels – Lucy, Freddie, Shayne – to name a few!
Lots of love,
Your Emzy Poooooo
My condolences go to Lottie’s family – Mum Anne, Dad James, brothers Luke & George, her niece and nephew, her beloved dogs Lola and Millie, her care team past and present and other fellow Treloar students and staff.
This was beautiful