Nurse Memories: An Alleged Assault With a Ceramic Chicken and a Request For Dental Molds.

From Michigan to Germany

Not all ER stories are death and tragedy.  Some are pretty damn funny.  This is one of them. (Of course any names or locations are always changed).

I was of course working the night shift, as I did for so many years.  That night, I was working with some of my very favorite nurses and doctors.  No matter how bad things got, these people always made the job worth it.

A man arrived via EMS, covered in blood, and smelling of alcohol.(Like so many patients on the night shift often did).  He was alert, but very drunk, loud and super pissed off.  The patient was brought to one of my rooms, and I began the triage process.  I asked him to tell me his story while I examined him and charted all that I found.

This is his story.

“Well, ma’am.  I was minding my own business when a man…

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